I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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