According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i out mim tonsoeep
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