Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
