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when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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