when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
