That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
