My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
