i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
