I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
