Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
