: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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