I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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