What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
