I must be too annoying 4 u.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
