he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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