It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
