And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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