The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
