M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
