I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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