I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
