I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
