So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
