You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
