I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
