he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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