I'm jealous of your bromance
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
