Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
