What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
