so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
