It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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