He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
