i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
