dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
