Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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