So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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