Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
last night I used snow as a chaser
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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