bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
