Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
