Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
