I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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