just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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