dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
