Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
