areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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