Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
