the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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