If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
