It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
