sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
