thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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