how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
