I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
