Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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